Why did I become such a weak
girl. I thought that I could survive going to other school. I thought that it
was better for me to move school. I thought that, this school is better than
the older one. I thought that maybe I could achieve something more at new
school.
But, all my thought is wrong. It was so wrong. This school is even worse than the old one. The old one is better than this one. I regret going to this school. If I know better, I would not apply for this school. If I know that I would regret this, I would certainly not moving out of that school.
Now,all my happiness for studying is gone. Now I hate to go to school. Now, I don't know what to do. Now, I think I just want to run away from this world. Far away from the difficulty. I left all my happiness in my old school. I can't search for new happiness at all at this new school.
No one knew about my suffering. No one knew what I'm having now a day. No one know that I have been crying everyday just by thinking of that school. How much I cry for regreting moving out. Even my parent didn't know about it. I may look okay on the outside but you didn't see yet in the inside. My inside is already crumble. Now, I see that studying is difficult. I know now why they said the environment is important. It doesn't matter where you go. Even if you go to the best school in universe but you hate to be there, you won't even survive. I use to think before that my subject is easy. But, once I move, I can't think of anything beside the negative thing.
I miss my friend. Someone said that school is our second home but I can't feel I'm comfortable at that new school. If school is supposed to be like our second home,then we should be comfort right. But,I hate it there. It was as if I was not anywhere near my house. Even of they are friendly but I still feel being left out. After all,I was the one that invaded in other people home right??
My parent still insists me to go to that school. Can't they see I'm not happy there? Can't they see I hate it there? I want to go to my real house. I just go to that school for two days but I feel like 2 years. How am I going to survive? With their subject being in a different language. I just get use to studying in other then I need to turn over? Why did my life turn out like this? If it was that school,I'm sure 2 days is to short on us. I'm not like sis. It's not like I can survive anywhere like her. I'm not her. Why did they always compare me with her? I hate it. Can't I just be myself? Can't I be selfish for once. It's not like I always beg for help.
For me to talk it out is already difficult. Can't you do it for me?? I want to go back.. It's been a while since I cry. I didn't even cry last year. But now,everyday I cry but no one noticed. That is me. I'm always being unwanted to everyone. I'm always second to everyone. Even my friend,there were only a few who didn't think of me like that. I just found a true friend and now I have to leave them?? You don't know how I feel.
I always hope that this thing never happen. I always hope that tomorrow I will wake up and still in my old school. But reality will always being cruel to me. Now, I don't have anything to smile about in the morning. Even the happy memory will make me cry cause it was all on that school. How can I not cry when having a homesick to my school.
I wonder if there is anyone like me?? People always tell me that, that school is the best. That school is great and so on. But I can't help but think that my old school is better. I didn't even regret think it like that. When I'm at my old school, I could feel the love of the teacher to us. The real care from the bottom of their heart to make us a better person. But, on that school, I could feel that they do it because they want to maintain their school reputation not because of the student. Is it just me or they really actually don't really care about us?? I want my happiness back.
Also, when I'm at the new school,I can't think of anything but 'I want to go home'. I hate waiting when I'm at that school. If it was the old school, I don't really care because at least there is someone that care about me will talk with me. I don't really care if my mom late if it was the old school. But I feel like crying if I had to wait at that new school. Can my hatred to that school deepen?? Will my parent change their mind and will change me back??I don't care if teacher will scold me for returning back.I know he said that I can't returned anymore. I don't care how much I need to beg. I want to returned. I'm serious. I don't think I have been this sad and cries for days. Note : Cries for days. I hardly cry. Even if I cry it will only last for a few minutes. But this has happen for days and I still feel like crying. Crazy right? But that's what happen to me. I wonder if I can even survive this?
I wonder who will read this?? For those who read this, 'congratulation'. You just read my story which is the prove the worst thing I have ever being through.x
But, all my thought is wrong. It was so wrong. This school is even worse than the old one. The old one is better than this one. I regret going to this school. If I know better, I would not apply for this school. If I know that I would regret this, I would certainly not moving out of that school.
Now,all my happiness for studying is gone. Now I hate to go to school. Now, I don't know what to do. Now, I think I just want to run away from this world. Far away from the difficulty. I left all my happiness in my old school. I can't search for new happiness at all at this new school.
No one knew about my suffering. No one knew what I'm having now a day. No one know that I have been crying everyday just by thinking of that school. How much I cry for regreting moving out. Even my parent didn't know about it. I may look okay on the outside but you didn't see yet in the inside. My inside is already crumble. Now, I see that studying is difficult. I know now why they said the environment is important. It doesn't matter where you go. Even if you go to the best school in universe but you hate to be there, you won't even survive. I use to think before that my subject is easy. But, once I move, I can't think of anything beside the negative thing.
I miss my friend. Someone said that school is our second home but I can't feel I'm comfortable at that new school. If school is supposed to be like our second home,then we should be comfort right. But,I hate it there. It was as if I was not anywhere near my house. Even of they are friendly but I still feel being left out. After all,I was the one that invaded in other people home right??
My parent still insists me to go to that school. Can't they see I'm not happy there? Can't they see I hate it there? I want to go to my real house. I just go to that school for two days but I feel like 2 years. How am I going to survive? With their subject being in a different language. I just get use to studying in other then I need to turn over? Why did my life turn out like this? If it was that school,I'm sure 2 days is to short on us. I'm not like sis. It's not like I can survive anywhere like her. I'm not her. Why did they always compare me with her? I hate it. Can't I just be myself? Can't I be selfish for once. It's not like I always beg for help.
For me to talk it out is already difficult. Can't you do it for me?? I want to go back.. It's been a while since I cry. I didn't even cry last year. But now,everyday I cry but no one noticed. That is me. I'm always being unwanted to everyone. I'm always second to everyone. Even my friend,there were only a few who didn't think of me like that. I just found a true friend and now I have to leave them?? You don't know how I feel.
I always hope that this thing never happen. I always hope that tomorrow I will wake up and still in my old school. But reality will always being cruel to me. Now, I don't have anything to smile about in the morning. Even the happy memory will make me cry cause it was all on that school. How can I not cry when having a homesick to my school.
I wonder if there is anyone like me?? People always tell me that, that school is the best. That school is great and so on. But I can't help but think that my old school is better. I didn't even regret think it like that. When I'm at my old school, I could feel the love of the teacher to us. The real care from the bottom of their heart to make us a better person. But, on that school, I could feel that they do it because they want to maintain their school reputation not because of the student. Is it just me or they really actually don't really care about us?? I want my happiness back.
Also, when I'm at the new school,I can't think of anything but 'I want to go home'. I hate waiting when I'm at that school. If it was the old school, I don't really care because at least there is someone that care about me will talk with me. I don't really care if my mom late if it was the old school. But I feel like crying if I had to wait at that new school. Can my hatred to that school deepen?? Will my parent change their mind and will change me back??I don't care if teacher will scold me for returning back.I know he said that I can't returned anymore. I don't care how much I need to beg. I want to returned. I'm serious. I don't think I have been this sad and cries for days. Note : Cries for days. I hardly cry. Even if I cry it will only last for a few minutes. But this has happen for days and I still feel like crying. Crazy right? But that's what happen to me. I wonder if I can even survive this?
I wonder who will read this?? For those who read this, 'congratulation'. You just read my story which is the prove the worst thing I have ever being through.x
